Yesterday I made the 600 mile trek from Dayton, TN to Clifton, IL.
After four months of being away at school, I was finally coming home.
You better bet I didn’t waste any time looking back.
Why, though?
Why was I in such a rush to leave the exact place I couldn’t wait to get to?
That time was supposed to my turning point; it was my defining decision.
That was supposed to be the place that changed everything for me.
Maybe it did.
Maybe it didn’t.
Maybe, just like every other choice I have made, I took advantage of it.
I rushed it.
I wasted it.
I forgot to take my time.
It took me over 500 miles, on an open road, to realize…
There I was.
Less than an hour from home, and it hit me.
It was over.
That chapter was closed.
A new one was going to have to start.
But what had I missed?
What did I let go of?
What did I so easily walk away from?
Yes, it had been a rough semester.
Yes, I was hit with depression and confusion.
Yet, despite all of that, there was something more.
There was something I was missing.
Then, I finally broke down.
I turned off the radio.
Put both hands on the wheel.
& I lost it.
I prayed harder than I have ever prayed before.
For thirty, honest and painful, minutes I was actually real with God.
I didn’t try to hide.
I didn’t try to fake it.
I was real.
I had that ‘Jesus-moment’ I’d been waiting for.
It finally hit me.
In the midst of that hurtful, and real prayer, I found Jesus.
Really found Him.
Even though I couldn’t deny it before,
this was different.
I finally realized that He was there;
He had always been there.
I finally realized that I needed Him;
I had always needed Him.
I finally realized that I was still lost;
that I needed Him if I ever wanted to find my way.
For the first time since I first heard His name, I finally believed.
I finally felt the change.
I finally found God.
In the middle of I-57, going seventy MPH, I found God.
Amidst that prayer, I just looked up.
I looked up, and words cannot express what ran through my mind.
Through my heart.
Through my soul.
Through my entire self.
Everything changed.
I’ve seen pain.
I’ve seen devastation.
I’ve held the hand of a crying widow.
I’ve cradled an orphan to sleep.
I’ve witnessed a parent lost their child.
& in ever instance, I’ve seen God.
Yet my eyes were never really open.
In that single prayer, that life-changing talk with God, my eyes opened.
My heart was made new.
I am new.
Can you remember your ‘Jesus-moment’? When your whole life changed, and God opened up your eyes?
Ah, this is such an awesome testimony! I got really excited when I read it, cuz God is just AWESOME! =)
I don’t think my Jesus moment was as powerful, because I never remember a time without Christ in my life. But my freshman year of college, I was at a Cru weekly meeting, and while listening to the speaker of the night, God just kind of shook my shoulders. He reminded me I am his daughter and that I am perfect in his sight! It really kind of hit me after that, and my faith has grown just a ton since then. Thanks for sharing!
Anna
Once the ultimate big one occurs….they keep happening.
so true Naphtali…..they will keep coming and coming…..as long as we keep looking!
I can relate Katherine….and like you, I had the same moment you speak of…and the main thing I learned from it…..no matter what direction I’m going….he will meet me there and it will be like I never left him!
Right! God is always there, no matter how far or long we wander away, He waits.
amen! God is far more patient with us than we are with him……